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Just Random Thought, Like Usual

Well... where to begin with? 
Okay.
First of all, I really feel grateful of Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala's favors. I cannot deny any of it. But as a human, whyyyyyy tho whyyyyyyyy complaining has special part in my day 😂.

Okay... here is one of them.
So, I have moved on June last year in the new work place. Actually it's only a few meters aways from my previous work place. The environment and the people are quite familiar. Nothing to worry about. With the good and bad experiences I got from the previous place, I have set boundaries and rules that I need to apply for myself. One of the rules is speaking out my mind - of course if necessary, and another one is no hesitating to say no if I have to. Forget about reluctance. F**K that!!! Actually those are rules of thumb. But, well, yeah.

Have heard some unpleasant things about the people of the new place but I just shook it off. I have my own problems to think of, not interested in minding somebody else's businesses. Thank u, but no, thank u. Hoping that it would keep me away from any dispute with anybody.

But the world doesn't go that way. Sunnatullah that we will always be tested. 

I really want to write the first thing or the first person that made me mad there, but uhm... skip it 😂. I just shook it off. Off I went. That was just pebble that just need to be ignored. Some tests came and went but alhamdulillah it got fixed for a couple of days and the relationship among colleagues back to normal, at least that what I see.

Till... a year after I stepped into this place. Exactly a year after my coming here.

So, Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala has blessed me with opportunity of joining in a special program for teacher. After completing a four-month-course I was eligible to receive extra fund from government that is paid every three months. I was so contented since I had been dreaming about getting it years ago. I was planning to give all the money for my parents.

FYI, both my parents are hard working parents. They did all they could to provide us with the best facilities they could afford. I believe all parents do the same thing.

So, on June this year, the fund was sent to my account. Ohhh gosh.... u have no idea how jolly I was thinking about giving it to my mom and dad. My parents were happy when I did it. I don't care what kind of stuff they want to buy with the money, I would just say ok. But my parents chose to give it back to me and ask me to save it in the bank. I did it. I know my parents will need the money for hajj next year, inshaallah.

Happiness and bitterness sometimes come together. We were not able able to choose only one- I bet we would always choose happiness. Here come the bitterness.

So one of the colleagues has extra responsibility to input any new data of us. Since I have got the certificate from the program, my data needed to be renewed. The problem is, this person expect some of the money from any teachers who get extra fund from the government. The tradition have lasted for quite long time. The problem is, no one has given money to him sincerely. As I said before, I have set boundaries for myself and learning to say no when it's necessary.

So when this person approached me and asked me to go somewhere and talk about it, I had known what he expected from me. So I rejected his request as polite as I could. His face turned from salesman smile to forced smile. I knew he disappointed and angry. Do I care? Of course no. Sorry, but no sorry.

I explained him that I don't mind giving money to other people as long as no regulation about the amount of money and no regular time. In short: I rejected his idea about giving him money every time I get extra fund from the government. I have intended to give all the money to my parents who have worked super hard to take care of us. My parents have dedicated all their sources for their kids without asking favors in return. They even never asked any money from me or my siblings for all the deeds they have done to us. But this dude, expected me to give him money for renewing my data, which is one of his responsibilities and he has been paid by gov for that. Subhanallah!

When I got the money, I gave all to my mom but I asked permission to use some of the money to buy treat for my colleagues at work, including him. My mom agreed and very supportive.

Mind u, I tried to say hi to him several times but he ignored me always 😂. But that's fine. I hope Allah subhanallahu wa ta'ala forgive him and me and put hidayah in our heart always. He has been mad at me and ignored me for almost 4 months only because of money that he thought he has right to have some of it.

I have explained to him that I don't mind giving sadaqa and remind him that in Islam, it's prohibited to ask money from other people, except for the poor (fakir). He has a job, nice house, car, motorbike, so no reason for him to ask (beg) money from somebody else and if he gets money from asking (begging or forcing), that's haram money.

Seems that the money has occupied his mind so he chose to be mad at me till now 🤭.

Dear brother,
Stop asking money from somebody else that u know u have no right of the money. Have some dignity. Keep your hand off of someone's wallet. Respect yourself by avoiding begging. PLEASE!!! 

I am not angry. I just think that I need to emphasize it :).

Adios.








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Hm....


 

Ini sebenarnya sambungan dari postingan sebelumnya. If you know, you know! Hehehe.

About two weeks ago, a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of her info from one of gov's sites. It said that her data has been valid and probably will get extra fund from gov in the next a couple of week, inshaallah, I hope so. I am happy for her. I know how she has been struggling for years and the money means a lot. No wonder she is waiting for it eagerly. Everybody does!!!

So off I went to check mine in the same site but no information available at that time. 

A week after, I check again, it said that my data has NOT been valid yet - till now while I am writing this.

I asked permission from two colleagues to check their status. Ahamdulillah theirs are valid.

So I compared my data with a colleague. I found out that my working hour is written only 2 hours per week. I was confused that time. Why oh kenapa???

My friend helped me gathering some info about the problem. Jadi ya...  didapatkan masalahnya adalah, jam kerja linier eike yang 24 jam per pekan HILANG atau dihilangkan jadi eyke tidak terbaca valid karena tidak memenuhi syarat.

Eyke gak mau suudzon ya, pikiran itu eyke coba kubur dalam-dalam setengah mati. It was so hard and I kinda failed, TBH. 

Karena gini loh. 

Hanya ada 4 penerima extra fund from the gov in my working place. Dua orang sudah valid. Satu orang lagi eyke belum tahu karena out of nowhere, data beliau gak bisa dibuka karena password salah. Eng ing eng. So many red flags ya. 

Trying to be positively thinking ya... mungkin operator lupa atau gak pakai kacamata saat memasukkan data eyke jadi data penting itu hilang. A bit implausible, TBH, tapi karena Rasulullah  shallallahu alaihi wasallam mengajarkan untuk memberikan uzur kepada saudara kita sampai 70 kali, stillllllllllllll it's so DUCKING HARD!!!

Satu kawan voluntarily called one of her friends who knows precisely about this matter. I am so grateful of her willingness to help, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless her and all nice people, always. Intinya, itu data bermuara di operator yang sudah diberi amanah sekali lagi AMANAH untuk bekerja sesuai yang diharapkan dengan kompensasi yang sudah ditetapkan. 

Akhirnya, berbekal dari info tersebut, eyke WA-lah di grup, dengan kalimat kurang lebih, "Pak, data saya belum valid. Saya sudah bandingkan data saya dengan Ibu A, ternyata data mengajar linier saya hilang. Bisa tolong diperbaiki?" Kejadian itu pada Jumat.

Beliau merespon dalam hitungan menit: Siap.

Ayke jawab dong: Terima kasih Pak. Jazzakallah khair.

Saat malam hari, eyke cerita-cerita sama mama mengenai data eyke yang belum valid dan sumber masalahnya yaitu data yang hilang.

Mama heran, kok bisa hilang (FYI, my mom is retired teacher and got the same extra fund from gov as well so she knew excatly what I was talking about). My mom trying to surpress her anger and dissapoinmtent. Tapi don't get me wrong ya. Marah dan kecewanya mama bukan karena uang yang mungkin terhambat atau belum jadi rezeki kita. Mom got emotional coz she knew the person who does holding the authority to change the data. Mom knew him quite well and in my mom's eyes, he was nice person and I don't think mom wanna change her POV about him. But sadly, this time I experienced the opposite with the same person).

Diantara kecewanya terhadap tindakan orang itu, mama berpesan, "kalau dilaporkan ke atas, nama baik (mama menyebutkan nama orang itu dengan sebutan penghormatan "Pak") akan rusak. Doain yang baik-baik aja untuk Bapak itu."

I was speechless but smiling. Mom didn't mention anything about the money karena mama percaya kalau rezeki gak akan tertukar atau hilang kalau memang sudah ditakdirkan. Eyke yakin bapak eyke juga dengar percakapan antara mom n eyke tapi chose not to say a word. Thank u mama n bapak for being such great role models.

Hari Ahad, pukul 06.25, eyke dapat WA dari beliau yang diamanatkan untuk memegang data,  mengabarkan bahwa data eyke sudah diperbaiki. I didn't feel like saying anything but thank you, jazzakallah khair. It was too early in the morning. Plus, my soul was still scattred and could't think of anything since I went to bed late last night so my sleepy eyes overpowered me.

Tapi karena sudah terlanjur bangun, ya hard to go back to sleep. So I forwarded his text to a friend from my previous work place. Jut letting her know that there is progress of the problem that I told her about yesterday.

She called me right away. Something that my friend rarely does. So I picked up the phone.

She was grateful of the information tapi tetap juga questioned the situation. KOK BISAAAA HILANG GITU LOKH!!! Eyke bilang, "gak tahu."

Beliau lalu mengatakan, "coba diadukan kepada bosse supaya dicari solusi."

Eyke jawab, "Mama bilang, jangan diadukan karena nama dia bisa rusak dan mama bilang, doain yang baik-baik aja."

Beliau, yang juga kawan mama bilang, "Sebenarnya kemarin saya rapat bareng dia tapi saya pulang duluan karena sudah malam. Saya mau tanya tentang ini ke dia."

Eyke bilang, "ehhhhh jangan..... biarin aja. Semoga dia selalu sehat."

Beliau menjawab serius, "Oh ya udah. Kalau belum diubah juga, nanti saya ngomong. Saya turun gunung kalau perlu."

I giggled, "Okay Mbah," I joked and we said goodbye.

Ya Allah.... terima kasih atas karunia yang diberikan berupa orang-orang baik yang Engkau kirimkan disekeliling hamba-MU. Ya... ada yang ngaco-ngaco dikit sebagai cobaan tapi that's life. Bisa jadi eyke termasuk ngaco and jadi cobaan bagi yang lain. Yekan???

Jujur ya, sebenarnya hari Jumat ketika eyke minta tolong supaya data eyke diperbaiki, eyke mau tanya sekalian, "kenapa hanya data saya yang hilang? Apakah unsur kesengajaan atau ketidaksengajaan? Kalau unsur kesengajaan, apa alasannya? Apakah saya pernah zalim kepada Bapak? Apakah saya pernah merampas hak bapak?" 

Seingat eyke, eyke gak pernah ya. Selama nyaris dua tahun di sana, seingat eyke, satu-satunya barang yang pernah eyke pinjem adalah laptopnya karena waktu itu entah kenapa laptop eyke gak bisa dipakai untuk e-rapot. Dan laptop itu langsung dikembalikan. Selain itu nggak ada. 

Eyke gak pernah rusakkin barangnya. Gak pernah pinjem motornya. Gak pernah pinjem uangnya lalu pura-pura insomnia. Gak pernah minta uangnya. Gak pernah minta dibayarin untuk hal apapun. Gak pernah minta makanannya. Gak pernah berkata kasar kepadanya atau bentak. Ape dong?

Hari Senin ketika ketemu, I tried to be cool when I met him despite the dissapoinment that lingers in my heart. He threw a smile and said hi which I replied. No explanation of what happened with the missing data. NADA. Acting as if nothing happened after all of this. The audacity :).

Well, in the end of the day, my ego burning like hell but trying to put out the fire in my heart as good as I can. 

Ya Allah, please forgive and my sins, my parents', families', friends' and all of muslims' around the world.

Satu lagi, semoga extra fund itu masih jadi rezeki kami, especially my parents :)

Aamiin...

Bye. 



 

 

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